So, I’m on a bit of a tidy, organize, reduce kick at the moment. As such, I’m making an attempt to cut down on the number of DVDs I’ve got sitting around. This is no mean task – I have over the years accumulated a massive collection of DVDs, several of which are extraordinarily terrible. I blame this entirely on poor impulse control and an overly generous tendency to cut filmmakers slack. Slack which they do not deserve!
I thought it might be entertaining to go explain why I’m getting rid of some of these pieces of shit, and see exactly how much I can remember about them without watching anything or looking anything up. I am seriously not wasting any more of my life watching these movies.
Anyway, today I’m getting rid of Wildthings, which is this movie right here:
It was released in the late nineties, and stars Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Kevin Bacon. I actually totally forgot about Kevin Bacon in this movie until I looked at the cover art, which is not surprising since you full-on see his entire junk as he gets out of the shower. That’s the kind of thing you tend to want to forget, despite Mr. Bacon’s best efforts to show you Mini-Bacon in several of his movies (Hollowman, I’m looking at you).
The movie is perhaps most famous for the scene where Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out. I don’t know if I actually bought this movie because of that, but I would like to direct your attention to this graph I made:
This graph is the “Desire To Own A Copy Of Wildthings” vs. “Availability of Internet Pornography.”
Now that I think about it, I remember buying this DVD because it was $15 and at the time Blockbuster was running a promotion where you could get 1 DVD free after buying three. This was back when DVDs just came out, were usually $40, and nobody knew if they were going to be the next Laserdisc or not. On a side note: this is a problem I decided to maximize by buying a DVD player that also included a Laserdisc player, meaning at best I would end up with a machine guaranteed to be at 50% obsolete. Like I said before – poor impulse control.
I’ve literally watched the movie once since owning it, and apart from the surprise shot of Kevin Bacon’s balls and wenis, the only other thing I remember is all of the characters being irredeemable back-stabbing pieces of shit, which really doesn’t make me want to watch it again. So, into the trash/sell pile you go!
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