Monthly Archives: October 2010

Really, Justin Timberlake?

Thomas: “Good evening Master Timberlake. How was your afternoon?”

Justin: “Exciting! I took a spin down to that luxury car dealer on La Jolla Boulevard, and ran into that punk Justin Bieber and things got a little crazy. You know how it is!”

Thomas: “Excellent, sir. I have unfortunate news though – Your manager Lynn Harless called to say the online gossip sites are… ahem… ‘blowing up’ with rumours that you cheated on Jessica Biel with Daily Show Correspondent Olivia Munn.”

Justin: “Shit! Who snitched? You know what, never mind. Yeah I did it, but suckas gotta prooove it! Ha haaa!”

Thomas: “Shall I prepare a late dinner while you converse with Ms. Harless?”

Justin: “That’d be great. Oh, you know what? I don’t even know why I did this, but I bought two identical Lamborghini Gallardo’s this afternoon. I think it’s because I saw Bieber looking at one, and I didn’t want him to have it. Can you have the groundskeeper set one on fire, and drop it in the bottom of a quarry?”

Thomas: “I’ll order an immediate Charlie Sheen Special, sir.”

Justin: “You’re the best, Thomas.”
A Charlie Sheen Special

Terrible Taste in DVDs – Wildthings Edition

So, I’m on a bit of a tidy, organize, reduce kick at the moment. As such, I’m making an attempt to cut down on the number of DVDs I’ve got sitting around. This is no mean task – I have over the years accumulated a massive collection of DVDs, several of which are extraordinarily terrible. I blame this entirely on poor impulse control and an overly generous tendency to cut filmmakers slack. Slack which they do not deserve!

I thought it might be entertaining to go explain why I’m getting rid of some of these pieces of shit, and see exactly how much I can remember about them without watching anything or looking anything up. I am seriously not wasting any more of my life watching these movies.

Anyway, today I’m getting rid of Wildthings, which is this movie right here:Wildthings DVD
It was released in the late nineties, and stars Matt Dillon, Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Kevin Bacon. I actually totally forgot about Kevin Bacon in this movie until I looked at the cover art, which is not surprising since you full-on see his entire junk as he gets out of the shower. That’s the kind of thing you tend to want to forget, despite Mr. Bacon’s best efforts to show you Mini-Bacon in several of his movies (Hollowman, I’m looking at you).
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