With Orange

I was walking back from the comic store, with Issue #7 of Buffy and DC Comics’ Countdown #30 in hand. Not that you’d know – wrapped, as they were, in the comic store’s usual brown paper bag. I’m always a little self-conscious when I carry the comics back to work because an anonymous brown paper bag wrapped around comic books looks a little like a bag of porno.

In front of me, a couple was walking, hand-in-hand. They were pretty nondescript, except for the lady’s shirt which was black with red writing along the back. Because of her rotund torso, I couldn’t quite make out what the writing said, except for the word “fuck,” which has a tendency to stick out when it’s written on somebody’s shirt and you don’t have any choice but to look at it for 10 minutes.

I’ve got a pretty foul mouth, but I try not to swear out loud in places where kids or people who would be offended are around. So looking at this shirt was making me feel a little weird, but I still couldn’t figure out the rest of the slogan.

I closed the distance between us a bit, and the text became a little easier to read. something…. “with fuck all”

At this point, I’m thinking that a t-shirt with the word “fuck” on it should probably be saying something pretty clever to back up using a shocking word like that. Something like…

Oh! Suddenly the red blob forms into a word. The shirt says “Rymes with fuck all”

What the fuck is a “Rymes”?

Attention buffoons: Make sure your shocking t-shirt doesn’t make you look like a goddamn dunce before you go outside in the morning. Also, when you wear oversized black running shoes and white socks with your tan shorts, it draws unflattering attention to your trunk-like legs.

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