Spence Diamonds, What are you thinking?

There’s a jewelery store here in Canada called Spence Diamonds, and they regularly purchase air time at my radio station of choice, 102.1 The Edge.

Now! Spence originally started pissing me off this past Christmas with ads that inferred if you didn’t lock your girl down with a ring, you were destined to end up lonely and alone. They weren’t even doing it in a “don’t you love her so much” way, they said it with “other guys are looking at her naked hand and smiling to themselves.” Never mind that I’m a bit sensitive about rings anyway, those kind of tactics are pretty uncool.
Recently, they’ve gone the other way. Spence Diamonds proprietor Sean Jones is coming up with the most ridiculously sappy garbage. Before I continue, I should add that they’ve also been doing something bizarre in the middle of their spots. Guitar riffs. Whenever Sean pauses in his sales pitch, some dude with two guitar lessons under his belt will wail something out for no reason. The end result is something like this:

Sean Jones: Some things in this world are mass-producible. But not love. It’s made from the twinkle of the January stars, the smell of fresh Strawberries and the laughter of children

Guitar: Byyyyyyyyyyeoooowww!

Sean Jones: That’s why each Spence Diamond is mined from the heart of Love mountain by a team of Teddy Bears and puppies, before being nestled in a bed of pure white dove feathers and carried by a pair of Cherubim to our showroom! Show her you’ll love her forever with an Eternity Necklace!

Guitar: Scccrreeeea!! Bwoop, bwoop! Screeeeeeeeeeaaa!

Sean Jones: And if you don’t buy it right now, Greg from accounting is going to sleep with her at the Team-building exercise in Ottawa next week. OBEY ME.

Guitar: Scribbidy-bippidy-boo!

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50 Comments.

  1. its true. I hate spence diamonds ads with a passion. I hate the way sean jones talks…if I ever see him in person I’m gonna bust an impression of him in his face, how he over pronouces like an excited bitch. And then slap him.

  2. Ahahah this cracked me up. Thanks for brightening my day :)
    At first when I kept hearing these Spence ads I had to change the station I was so annoyed with his voice! Now sadly I am so used to them..I listen to z103.5 where they play the ad like every 30 mins!!

  3. Yes! I can’t stand the Spence diamond commericals. They keep getting worse and worse. I wish Sean Jones would go mute or fall off the face of the earth. Anything so I don’t have to listen to those friggin commericals anymore.

  4. “…a team of Teddy Bears and puppies”
    This was the part where I burst out laughing.

  5. Even though I agree with everyone about how lame their ads are I thought Spence would be a good place to start looking with my boyfriend for our engagement ring. Well let me tell you it gets worse… we dealt with a girl named Michelle in their Vancouver store. What a little tramp … every chance she got she flashed her chest at my boyfriend and wouldn’t listen to a single thing I said .. then when we said we were probably not buying that day she instantly dropped us and started talking to other people. If you ever go to Spence in Vancouver … make sure you don’t deal with her at all costs

  6. I couldn’t understand some parts of this article Spence Diamonds, What are you thinking?, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

  7. Soapbox Preacher

    Daniel, I think you have trouble understanding the article because you’re a spam bot. However, I approved your comment because it was refreshing to receive spam in a form that I can understand, instead of the filter-defeating gibberish. I did remove the link to the site you’re promoting, though.

  8. SEAN JONES is such a DORKIE LOSER. every time commercials come on i LITEROTLY SCREAM!!!!!. ya… i know what you mean ‘Truth’… he sounds like an overly EXITED BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sean jones, if your reading this, listen to me… get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!… and some new vocals. im sorry… that was kinda harsh, but im just speaking what i think.

  9. AKA HE ANNOYS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. Spence’s commercials are always on radio cos they fear to show their designs w/ images in public…
    The designs not under copyright, such an illegal plagiarist~
    quality sucks with impure golds

  11. I know you all hate the ads, but let me tell you they work, look at all the people who are talking about Spence Diamonds. At least they know who Spence Diamonds is and what they do. Find something kind to say or don’t say anything at all.

    • Maroon5 Sucks Balls

      Sorry, Lisa, I hate them so much that I will boycott their store even if their store is amazing. Annoying people with idiotic ads is proof that not all attention is good. That guy’s voice is an abomination.

  12. Thank you for the comment, Lisa. You’re right – people do know about Spence Diamonds. However! People are *still* talking about my blog post, nearly two years later, yet Spence’s terrible ads are no longer running! The winner here is clearly myself and the terrible power I wield on the Internet.

  13. Actually, I still hear Spence ads.. almost on a daily basis.
    As lame as they are, it makes me want to go in and look around anyway.
    Pretty good marketing gimmick imo.

  14. Soapbox Preacher

    No, no. Spence’s *terrible* ads are no longer running. The current ones are fine

  15. He’s still running crappy ones here in Edmonton. Only now he has a female in them too. Damn I hate that guy.

  16. I went to Spence Diamonds because of their ads however once we bought our ring our head ache started. Please know that the customer service in a particular store is down right poor. They not olny talked down to my fiance and I but they told us that our brand new ring error was our problem not theirs (managers word). We are now looking at atleast $100 in resizing because they measured the size wrong.

  17. Hahahahahahahahahaha. There is nothing, I mean NOTHING worse than this commercial. I recently moved back to Calgary after a four year stint in Toronto, and thought I had at least escaped the “Spenths” diamonds “guy”. Unfortunately I was mistaken. As I was with the Rogers 5. I’m so happy that things are shiny.

  18. Here’s one for everyone: You know all those Spence radio ads and how they state “they will buy back the diamond at any time”
    Well here is a warning: they will not take rings back (only 45days after your PICK OUT date) then if you do decide to do the “buy back diamond thing” NOTE: they take the WHOLE RING and give you ONLY the price of the diamond. You will not get the rest of the ring back. Please be very careful before purchasing anything at Spence (IF AT ALL). They will now turn around at sell that ring for full retail. The company even has a poor rating with the better business bureau. Watch out!

  19. I personally HATE your radio station,however I do agree with you on the Spence diamonds ads…They make you want to puke,If I was in the position to purchase such jewellery again(I’m happily married),the last place i would go,would be Spence,just because of the ads! They suck and this guy doing them is a fag!

  20. I was just there looking at rings and they nickel and dime you from the diamond to the ring and then they charge you a mounting fee, I was like wtf. There prices were through thte roof. They wanted $8500 for the ring. I went to independent jewlers and paid $5100 for the same ring and it was cdn diamond. Both stones were identical from cut color and clarity

  21. I’m sorry you feel that way about The Edge, Dave! Unfortunately, they are my favorite station due to a total absence of anything better. So it’s either the Edge, or the creamy-smooth easy-listening jazz of 94.7 “The Wave.”

    Also, I’m not sure why you’re casting aspersions on Sean Jones’s sexuality! It makes you sound quite ignorant!

  22. Thank you all for helping me make my choice not to go to Spence. I was wondering why they dont post there prices for rings. Thanks Chris.

  23. I was thinking of going to Spence *for the diamond only*.

    If you want to go someplace reputable, with a great selection, try X in the X Building (2nd Floor) at X and X in Vancouver. Ask for X.

  24. Soapbox Preacher

    Thanks for the spam, Cory!

  25. Why are you people so hard on Sean? I could just hug him………….until his friggin’ tongue turns black!!!

  26. Decided to return the deposit the same day

    Yeah, I foolishly decided to go ahead and put down a deposit on a rock – figuring, it’s ok and I’ll compare it to what I can find elsewhere later – this way I have one picked out. It’ll cost me another trip out to their store to get my deposit back (I’m definitely going to do it in person – especially after hearing about the problems people had trying to get a refund over the phone!).

    Well of course I went online, did my searching (BN) and realized Spence was essentially charging a 100% markup. Um, yeah, I’ll just get the stone myself then.

    They do employ really good salespeople – you like dealing with them and they do a good job of explaining the technical details – so I was willing to go back to them to get the setting done by them.

    I called to find out if the plan of having Spence set the stone would work. “No, we only set it if it’s a “Spence” diamond.”

    Uh, what? why?

    “It’s our policy.”

    Pass then.

    I was ironically considering them DESPITE the annoying ads (which I hear on the Edge too), but if they want to overchage me on the rock and don’t want my remaining business I’ll have some going to check out local crafstpeople my friends recommend instead.

  27. Not only does he have enervating commercials spoken with an irritating voice, he also employs all kinds of annoying gimmicks! Just this summer his commercial featured a helium-voiced elf, and now he’s chatting with a colleague about how big his heart is! He seems to have bought air space on all Corus network radios, so good luck escaping him (he’s on YOUR side)!

  28. Spence is HORRIBLE, especially the Edmonton location. I was pretty upset when I found out that that was where my now-husband bought my engagement ring, as I vowed to never shop there because of the stupid commercials. Then we went to them to ask about soldering my wedding set and they said it would take a couple of weeks, so my husband told the girl that we would take it somewhere else to get it done. When we got it soldered, we found that the one band was not made properly and has a big gap in it, so when I took it back to Spence, as soon as they found out it was soldered somewhere else, they immediately got ignorant and snotty (eventhough the girl when she first saw my ring said that it didn’t look right). The manager in no way tried to come up with any solution, was totally belligerant, even going as far as saying that the person who soldered it could have ruined the ring. Between their store and the Customer Service, I emailed them 5 times, not getting one single response back. I finally had to go to the Better Business Bureau. In every email I asked why when my husband told the girl we’d be taking it somewhere else she failed to mention to him that in doing so would void our warranty on the ring, and also as to why they never found it important to email me back at any time. Their response? “The customer has voided their warranty and Customer Care has made every attempt to explain this situation to the client with no success – as you can see.” If you’re thinking about buying from them, DON’T!!

  29. Don’t ever deal with a chick named Nicole (Vancouver)….what a skinny cow…she was rude and irritating…perhaps if she ate something she wouldn’t be so grumpy. The whole store are full of snobs…the product is substandard and they suck!!! Go anywhere else to buy your jewellery…Spence will give you the worst experience of your life!!

  30. Absolutely repulsive mincing and slobbering. Just like all those gay fashion designers on daytime TV, gushing about how gorgeous the women are, but would run in fear if they started to get naked.

  31. Bahahaha…so true…his voice is a tiny bit irritating.

  32. They say an irritating ad does its job if it gets attention. But these ads by Sean Jones are far outside of that box. It’s not so much about selling diamonds as it is about Sean Jones, and how he gets to show everyone he’s in charge as the owner of Spence Diamonds. He seems quite prepared to crash the ship on the rocks, just to prove that he’s the captain. Egos are the biggest cost to nearly any business, and this one is costing that business plenty.

  33. I HATEEEEE THESE COMMERCIALS, especially the one now where that guy screams like 5 times! Honestly, just becasue I get soo annoyed when I hear their commercials I will never buy from them

  34. JUST LISTEN TO ONE OF HIS COMMERCIALS…WTF LOL. WHAT A GOOF!!! DOES NO ONE AT SPENCE SEE THIS AS THE MOST ANOING MARKETING CAMPAIN EVER LOL. IF I EVER GET MARRIED AGAIN….DEFINATELY WILL NOT GO THERE FOR THE RING.

  35. i googled “Spence diamond guy damn i hate tat guy” and this came up XD lol i feel better now somehow :mrgreen:

  36. Doug Germaine

    You advertising make me sick, I turn the radio off or change stations. Your Bla Bla has sickened allot of my friends also…Doug

  37. We bought an engagement ring there, great nothing to complain about. Lifetime warranty on the setting and diamond.

    We couldnt find a wedding band there to match, so we found one somewhere else. Now we want the two soldered together as them rubbing together wears down the rings and makes the settings loose (twice we have had it fixed for loos settings) BUT, here’s the kicker, spence will not solder them together unless they are both “spence diamonds” gold rings, only one is… and if anyone else solders them, warranty void. Go figure.

    Don’t buy there!

  38. the ads turned me off so much, i vowed never to shop there or let any of my friends shop there.

    wtf is up with that stupid scream? i’m sick and tired of listening to their ads. i change the station right away when i hear that guy’s voice.

  39. About a year ago, I e-mailed the radio station I listen to, saying “the more Spence Diamonds commercials you run by Sean Jones, the less I will be listening to your radio station.” Obviously I wasn’t the only one, because about a week later, they stopped running Spence Diamonds commercials and haven’t run one since. I couldn’t be happier :-D

  40. litterally LMAO in class reading this lol.

  41. skupelupdotdooly

    I can stand Sean Jones’ flaming ads, and his hysterical hyperboles, but I turn the radio off (hello CKNW 980) when his ‘friend’ David screams.

    “It’s not a scream,” explains Sean, “it’s a shout of joy!”

    Bull$hit! It’s a SCREAM.

    It’s seems he revels in his infamy.

    I wonders where his ‘fabulous’ diamonds come from? Sierre Leone maybe?

    If he had to own up to that, maybe he would shut up, if only a little.

  42. This dude once smuggled a diamond up his ass to avoid paying taxes. I used to date his wife, Jan, and she told me the story. The guy is a slimy f@ck.

  43. If i had to spend the rest of my life on a desert island and i could only bring 2 things with me, i would bring an aluminum baseball bat and sean jones!

  44. Honestly you guys?…get a life!

  45. I have never heard of the most annoying radio ad than Sean Jones Spence Diamonds, Everytime I hear his ad, I turn the radio off, sometimes I am a bit far and couldn’t reach it fast enough and I would just grab something and smash the radio. Thank God for the remote, now I shut the radio off for about 3 minutes and turn it back on. Radio ad must be sanctioned. SJ I am sure loses sales because of his ad he doesn’t realize how annoying he is…F@#$& especially the woman yelling…even more annoying.

  46. Hmmm… makes me wonder if there’s an “I Hate Spence Diamonds Ads” Facebook page… I’ll have to look. LOL.

    For a while there, the Spence ads got kind of normal and un-annoying, but guess who is back dominating the ads again? {Groan!}

    I think that guy should hire some professionals instead of stroking his own ego – I’ll never shop there just because of the ads…

  47. I’ll shop anywhere else before spence because of his retarded ads… I wanna cut his tongue out…,

  48. Just thought I’d keep the thread going. I hate those commercials so much that I will NEVER spend any of my money at Spence. I used to respect them back when Doug Spence did the ads, but when he sold the joint to Sean Jones its image became a joke. The ads make it seem like the company is run by frat boys.

  49. Their diamonds are WAAAYYY over priced along with their joke “appraisal certificates”. Cheap tacky ads, just like the stones.

    We bought our diamond from a wholesaler in Calgary and had the metal custom designed. That same stone at Spence would’ve been 2 1/2 times the price or more. Also, they would not even have that coloured stone available in stock.

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