Category Archives: Life - Page 3

Bad Touch

Dear Apple Motherfuckers,

Why are you sending me an email telling me you’re now making a 32 gig iPod Touch? You know I bought a 16 gig Touch from you in November, as evidenced by you sending me the email to the account I used when I registered said 16 gig Touch.

Does this new one come with the twenty dollars in applications that you would like to charge me for, or are they free like they are for everyone who bought a 16 gig Touch after January first? Oh, I know the answer is “Nope, haw haw”, I was just fuming about it. What amazes me is not that you are constantly changing your product lines in a ways that generates a burning sensation in all your customer’s pants, it’s that I am always surprised by it.

Yours, Soapbox Preacher

PS: Please eat the poop from my butt. I can’t believe you got me twice on the same product! Jesus Christ!

Down with the Sickness

I’ve been battling some sort of cold for the past week. I thought it was beaten on Thursday, but it seems to be back with a vengeance now. So I spent most of today sleeping and watching movies. I just finished Lost in Translation, which I only watched because I saw Bill Murray in Groundhog Day this morning. I think I like Lost In Translation because it’s just a movie about being. I also think I like it because it’s almost a love story, and there’s something refreshing about that compared to most of the romantic comedy pap that gets made. M and I saw “27 Dresses” earlier this week and it was pretty disappointing for something that should be much better, given the people involved.

You’re just a Tracer

No real time to make a post today, I was working late and then I finished my first inked comic in a really long time, so that took a while.

Instead, here’s the lazy bloggers approach to lack of original content: The embedded Youtube video. This one is Lykke Li‘s first single “Little Bit”

Cursor*10

This flash game has a pretty neat trick to it. You are presented with a series of levels, each of which has a variety of objects you can click on it. After a few seconds, your cursor dies and you start the game over again, but this time with the moves you did before playing again in real time. It’s like a co-op game you play by yourself!

 

Check it out!: Cursor*10

This is the worst hamburger I’ve ever had

When I hooked up my camera to download the pictures of the Too Human magazine cover, I discovered a bunch of photos I hadn’t bothered to transfer yet. One of them was this:

BK Bacon Double Homestyle Melt

This is the Burger King Bacon Double Homestyle Melt, probably the most vile hamburger I’ve ever tasted. It was so foul that it made me scour the house for my misplaced camera, so that I could take a picture and one day document this processed package of putrescence.

“Hey, Soapbox Preacher” you’re probably thinking, “how can you go wrong with the Melt? Aren’t you a big fan of bacon double cheeseburgers? I mean, aren’t you a fatty?” First off, shut up. Secondly, how can a melt go wrong? Read on!

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Back to Work

After a very generous week and a half off work, it’s back to business as usual. The nice thing is that I have a week and a half of podcasts to catch up on while I work. Today I listened to the latest GFW Radio (otherwise known as 97.5 The Brodeo). Of particular interest was the discussion on the extremely poor sales figures for PC titles Crysis (85k) and Unreal Tournament 3 (30k in November). Compare this with approximately 1.5 million copies of Call of Duty 4 sold in the same month for the Xbox 360 alone!

While I’ve only played UT3, the reviews of Crysis indicate that lack of quality is not really the cause of the poor sales of these two titles. I can only assume that the incredibly strong console lineup, combined with the lasting appeal of titles like Team Fortress 2 and World of Warcraft on the PC side of things had a crippling effect on them. There simply wasn’t time or money left in most gamer’s budgets for these two titles. I’m still working through the backlog of games released in November last year, although I did pick up Crysis today as it sounds like there is a lot of really interesting emergent gameplay in it. I have no idea when I’ll get around to playing it, however.

I’m a big fan of guitar solos


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Things you didn’t know about Polar Bears

Soapbox says:

I was listening to Kevin Smith’s SModcast and they were talking about this book of “things you think you know” and one of them was that Polar Bears cover their noses to camouflage themselves in the snow. M. says:
Oh is that so?
M. says:
I suspect you are full of that thing people know to be ‘shit’.
Soapbox says:
Yeah the author said that wasn’t true.
Soapbox says:
When Polar Bears don’t want to be seen, they wear trench-coats
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Broken

I’ve spent the past three or four days trying to restore my computer after a Harddrive and/or Motherboard failure. I’m not quite sure which one. Anyway, all my files are lost to the nether, so I’ve been running File Restore. It’s taking a looooooong time, but it seems to be picking up a lot of stuff I lost.

I’m posting on my laptop at the moment, which I’m using like a regular PC by the magic of USB ports and a video out.

Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction comes out this week for the PS3. The demo was fantastic. I can’t wait to play the whole thing. Also, how great is this poster?

With Orange

I was walking back from the comic store, with Issue #7 of Buffy and DC Comics’ Countdown #30 in hand. Not that you’d know – wrapped, as they were, in the comic store’s usual brown paper bag. I’m always a little self-conscious when I carry the comics back to work because an anonymous brown paper bag wrapped around comic books looks a little like a bag of porno.

In front of me, a couple was walking, hand-in-hand. They were pretty nondescript, except for the lady’s shirt which was black with red writing along the back. Because of her rotund torso, I couldn’t quite make out what the writing said, except for the word “fuck,” which has a tendency to stick out when it’s written on somebody’s shirt and you don’t have any choice but to look at it for 10 minutes.

I’ve got a pretty foul mouth, but I try not to swear out loud in places where kids or people who would be offended are around. So looking at this shirt was making me feel a little weird, but I still couldn’t figure out the rest of the slogan.

I closed the distance between us a bit, and the text became a little easier to read. something…. “with fuck all”

At this point, I’m thinking that a t-shirt with the word “fuck” on it should probably be saying something pretty clever to back up using a shocking word like that. Something like…

Oh! Suddenly the red blob forms into a word. The shirt says “Rymes with fuck all”

What the fuck is a “Rymes”?

Attention buffoons: Make sure your shocking t-shirt doesn’t make you look like a goddamn dunce before you go outside in the morning. Also, when you wear oversized black running shoes and white socks with your tan shorts, it draws unflattering attention to your trunk-like legs.